Doing Hard Things
A candidate, I won’t say his name, locked himself in the bathroom and refused to come out. There was another one who told me that her parrot kept her up late at night. That’s why she was just too tired to come in and do work. And of course, there was the time I frantically chased a candidate who worked at City Hall. He beat me to his office, and I sat outside of his office for two hours while he pretended not to be there.
Asking for money gets at the core of our most vulnerable psychology. Fear of rejection? Check. Shame and guilt around money? Check. Imposter syndrome? Check. Any campaign fundraiser worth their salt has seen it all.
We’re somewhere between therapist and personal trainer. It’s our job to figure out what motivates you.
This is true for money, but the same lessons apply to many other things you and I are supposed to do — eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep, meditate. If you want to learn how to keep your New Years’ resolutions, ask me.
Doing hard things is…hard. And it’s been discussed ad nauseam.
That’s because the concept is simple. It’s just the resistance that’s intense.
Here’s a few recommendations that might help:
Never Go Alone.
I know a leader of an amazing non-profit who raises tens of millions of dollars every year. He’s an accomplished author and brilliant tactician. But once a week he calls me and puts me on speakerphone while he sends emails. He doesn’t want to do it alone. Have a partner to keep you accountable. They will guide you along your journey.
Track your Progress.
Have goals in front of you (calls made, dollars raised, etc) and document your progress. You can literally just use a red sharpie to fill out a thermometer, this doesn’t have to be sophisticated.
Celebrate Small Victories.
Don’t be afraid to build momentum by enjoying every small win, no matter how silly. One of my candidates got an M&M every 5 calls. This is a grown-ass adult, running for major office, bribing himself with chocolate. My nephew used the same method when he potty trained. But it worked (both times).
Get Out Of Your Head.
Two easy ways to do this — being helpful and being curious.
When you’re in a curious mindset, you’re paying attention to things that aren’t you. Try experiments like calling for a minute less or more. If you’re trying to sleep, try it with electronics vs. without, or with a mask and earplugs vs. without. Experimentation will help you push yourself by getting you to stop thinking about yourself.
Being helpful does the same. Thinking of how to help people gets you out of the self-focused mental zone, and shifts you towards others.
Rebel.
Everyone needs a little rebellion.
The Chicago Bulls had a seemingly obvious rule, “keep your shoes tied”. Dennis Rodman occasionally left a shoe untied, just out of spite.
You can do the same—every time you are about to make a call you don’t like, stick your tongue out at them. Throw darts at your opponent. Do whatever you need to do to blow off some pressure.
Just Start.
I believe in mantras. They’re cheesy but they work. And my favorite for getting started is this — "I am grateful for this moment. Breathe in. Breathe out. Smile. 3...2...1...call." Yes, it sounds like something a pre-school teacher would use. But it works.
When we’re doing hard things, we revert back to our youngest and most vulnerable selves. Any trauma we faced early in life manifests itself later in life. The more important the thing you’re doing, the more scared of it you’ll be. And as it gets more and more critical, your body will physically start to resist.
The more afraid you are, the more it’s worth doing.