What President Biden is Teaching Me About My Ego

A long time ago, nobody retired. You just worked until you couldn’t physically. In the US, it wasn’t until the early 1900s that we started to think about things like pension systems. And notably, in 1986, the ADEA was amended to eliminate forced retirement, because it was a practice understood to be discriminatory. New understandings of the aging process showed that many people (even over 70) were still capable of extremely productive work.

I no longer have confidence that Joe Biden is one of those people.

What we are seeing is cognitive decline. Despite what the White House would have you believe, it is not age discrimination to suggest that President Biden is not up to the task.

My mom worked in memory care, and she and I have watched this political process unfold with great trepidation. People have good days and bad days. People get worse at night. They do worse under stress, pressure, travel, and sickness.

I am not a doctor. But I know decline when I see it, and I will not be gaslit by spin doctors.

But why doesn’t he step aside?

Here I can only speculate - but I can speak for myself.

If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t leave.

My ego is easily fed. I love it when I can achieve something, accomplish something. I love it when people think I’m important. I love to be adored. I love the control that privilege affords me. I love being the one with the inside scoop. I like everyone thinking of me as the white knight, the good guy, the hero to the world’s heel.

If I ever became President, it would be after decades of feeding this narrative to myself and swallowing it whole. There’s no other way. You are constantly proving the doubters and the haters wrong. It becomes almost habitual.

Joe Biden is a hero. It feels freaking great to be a hero. I know because I feel the same way. And I’m as stubborn as an ox. If I were him, I’d stay in power as long as I could.

That is my ego addiction, and it’s not a good thing.

This is where I find hope in my religious practice. Christianity is a religious path that venerates the sinful and the meek. It is counter-cultural. Instead of working my way up the ladder of ambition, it helps me climb down it.

The Gospel of Matthew says, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (23:12) James says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (4:10).

It reminds me to be simple, modest, and obedient to the voice inside of me. It is a religion that asks me to redirect my ambitions toward divinity instead of personal gain. It is triumphant in its humility.

I don’t know the Biden family well enough to know what they should do. But I know what my human instinct would be.

I’d stay in as long as I could.

And that, for me, is the great weakness that I need to address.